Confession

When it comes to choosing one of you guys, I will not choose you. I am sorry to tell you that in front of your eyes. Yes, I know I am holding your name and I belong to you, but I do not belong to your world. In most of my crisis times, you were away. On the other hand, happy moments lacked your presence and family photos were imbalance because of you.

Truly, I mean each word I am writing to you today. Nothing can erase your absence and draw your shadow over my past life. I did not and do not need your voice to follow my achievements or your complements raise my success. I am strong enough to hold my accomplishments away from you.

I got bored of the mercy look on all faces that used to look at me because you are away. Because you did not care. Because you had something or someone more important and because you had another dream to fulfill forgetting all our shared dreams.

You do not come all of the sudden asking me to come back. To color your dream and naming it OUR dream. You have no right to mention my name or even to remember it. You go to where you belong to and leave your sudden dreams remain dreams.

Your virtual success won't change me neither your begging. You had what you wished and I have had enough.

so and so

I do not know how it feels
when love is so precious and so inexpensive
so intimate and so revealed
so personal and so sticky
so wonderful and so shocking
so surprising and so usual
so good and so bad

I do not know why it falls between so and so

Tears taste bitter

Tears taste bitter

When eyes and lashes get wet

When heart is overwhelmed

When words cannot come out

When a sound of silence is all what you hear

When coldness covers your world

When death is a guest

A demanding guest

That never goes without a trophy

Without a sole

Or as a good bye moment

When hands to touch

When arms to hug

It is always the time

When tears taste bitter

To him, the ignorant

I wonder if you are alive to read these words and I do not know if your heart died. One word can break everything and the same word would bring me a fresh start. I do not lie if I say that I suffer when you are not around but I die million times when I do not know if you are alive. I want you to promise me that when you are about to die, let be the last person you talk to. I wish I could see you around, hold you tight and then come what May .just one time, let me see you, let feel you, let me beat death and conquer your life for a moment.

Just a moment, I am not asking for much, it is not too much, it is just a wish. Before you die, let me there. Let me steal one look from your eyes, one hug from your arms

If not , just tell me and I will be away , I indeed will be invisible forever and won't see you again no matter what happens to me.